Brought a tear, amidst my commute to a course, as I browsed through the FMF lead post by Kate Motaung. The part about following God, even when it hurts.
I walked away, cos it hurt too much to bear. Tried a life without much regard of Abba, and recognise, it’s time to give myself a chance, to walk with Abba the right way.
Daring to go against what the world whispers as norms – that I am entitled to this & that. I would let go of my rights, and let Him provide.
Dare to hope again, cos the past will remind me that I’ve been sorely disappointed, mainly by well-meaning people, who are hurting & trying to find their way as well. To move forward, ignoring & eventually silencing the noise, desperately trying to break down what little hope I have left, that His plans are to prosper me, never to put me in harm’s way.
Daring to love people & commit to friends again, allowing Abba to help me be wise & discerning, who to allow into the intimate thoughts, and who to keep at arm’s length, being there when they may need me, when I am up to it.
Daring to commit to serving Him again, despite the haunting consequences of imbalanced decisions in the past. Abba will help me do it right, in His time, by His prompting.
Daring to let someone into my life properly, to commit in a Godly way of loving, though the acidity of hurt is so very real when things go awry. I surrender my choices to Him, He will make clear the suitable one.
Dare to dip my feet into the water again.