YOLO

Interesting hashtag which I came across recently. Well, for my generation (Gen-Xers), maybe am not exactly keeping up with the fast-advancing internet-social-network-speak per se. This hashtag thing, incidentally, I had just discovered it’s magic only a couple of weeks ago. Lol…. So much for one who has been relatively trendy for awhile.

#yolo: you only live once.

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Appropriate really for the dream finally coming true – to solo somewhere, via some commuting method. Touring by bicycle it’ll be, since I’ve been highly intrigued by trips taken by other tourers.

Am an experiential learner – lessons & insights are distillated through the process of going through stuff. Planning for something to happen, preparing, then finally performing the task gives me huge learnings, which can be micro-ly (localised practical aspects on biking / touring) / macro-ly ( universal principles of life at large) applied.

As I write this, the last 5 mins will never ever return to me. Nothing will bring back the minutes spent ruminating. As of life flowing forward, time passing, opportunities presenting itself, pausing for my hesitation, moving on cos of my further hesitation. As I observed in my life, the past year, I’ve experienced much more perhaps, than many of my years put together. Guess it’s true: opportunities present themselves to the prepared mind. When I was prepared, calculated risks were taken to take hold of the opportunity – pretty much what it had to offer. Some of course, I prudently passed. Some, missed with some tinge of regret. But well… Life has taught me enough about having regret as a room- mate.

Perhaps the maturity of age has made me more prudent in spending time & space with individuals. Had to recently make some hard decisions to finally decide to cut some people off my life totally – toxic, incorrigible, unreasonable pricks. Not worth my explanations, not worth my time, no longer worth my sweating over them. Was a little apprehensive at first & wondered about the possible repercussions. Perhaps be blocked from a few more social groups they are tightly knitted with, some rumors & slams on my character. Nonetheless, I found myself deciding I only live once & I really don’t lose out by ommiting them from my life. In fact, life is so much more peaceful, not needing to entertain their childish bitching. Peace all around, really.

The upcoming trip is going to be amazing, I know. Been through an almost giving up on the trip – cos of various family concerns. Just woke up one morning, on the brink of letting go of the idea, just succumb to the doldrums of life & surrender to my ” lot” in life. Almost. But glad I bit the bullet.

Wondered at certain point if it was to generate popularity for myself. Will not deny that it’s nice to be liked but realise after soberly dissecting myself, that I needed this trip to truly find a space to talk to myself, perhaps clarify some aspects of my faith in the Maker. But mostly just to rest the soul & spirit. Haven’t really taken a proper holiday since my last trip to Hong Kong in September-2012. That was to heal & recognise I needed to get out of the system. This trip, am just a blank once more, with certain drawn notes on the musical score, non-negotiable, open to the Maker to fill it up. But I will make the final decisions whether those suggested notes will become permanent in my masterpiece, or it’ll be erased & rewritten.

Realized my recent take on the Maker in my life is that of certain amount of protection, certain amount of providence, taking care of aspects beyond my reach – eg. Safety & well- being of my families far away. But no more calling-stuff, no more hoping for the best / miracles. Ah.. They never really came for me. So I’ll settle with zero-expectations of miracles. More peaceful at heart. Will be thankful for whatever good comes my way. But I’ll work hard for the attainable.

Solo cos yolo – proof of strength & focus for a life well-lived.

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