Being able to “laze” at home gave me space & mind-share to re-acquaint with an area which has defined how I looked at life for at least a good 20 years of my life. Speaking with a concerned buddy about an adjustment to my take of Abba in my life has set me more determined to seek out what He is really saying about organised worship of Him.
A question of doctrines has been the indoctrination of what we tend to take lock, stock & barrel sometimes. Granted, we’ve been asked to approach teachings intelligently & objectively. Yet, a question runs through my mind that doctrines are essentially Man’s way of interpreting the Written Word of God, no? And those interpretations in turn shapes our beliefs. I respect & honour those who have worked hard to ensure we are taught as wholesomely & Biblically as possible. Yet, one observation is that, along the years, our doctrines have been evolving, and nothing seems exactly very concrete. There seems to be a call to go back to the basic Word, to stop trying to interpret “intelligently / sophisticatedly” what He is trying to say, but to say it as He says.
A question that I have is how much does His grace really cover? Who sets the definitions? Who says how long we are allowed to live our lives the way we want to, before we get zapped? Or is Abba, the way I know Him, fully gracious, that He sees & sometimes provides an unorthodox way of meeting our needs, of drawing us back to His path, allowing us to stray sometimes, that we may know of His grace even more deeply? Doesn’t He reign sovereign over our lives & has His ways of showing Himself real to each of His creation? He surely doesn’t need mere human beings like us to “defend” Him through apologetics & didactic religious lectures! I have always known Abba as calling us to love people & let Him do the convicting. This I fully believe.
I have stopped trying to struggle through contradictions. I will go with my gut, read as widely as possible, allowing the Creator to weave His strands if wisdom through my steps, that revelations of different facades of His love & grace may be experienced. Am freer, really. Without the Man-stipulated boundaries, fetters which are disguised as “because we want the best for you”. The experiences of joy & satisfaction & actualisation of life is for real – concretely felt. I have stopped asking for now, except for my family & friends. For myself, I only take what He plants along my way & appreciate the splendour of the experiences. I will take hold of whatever is left of my life. I will be the captain of the ship that sails to where I am inspired to & let Him lay across my paths people whom I may minister to with my humble experiences with Him,