This past weekend has been superb in terms of new experiences. Mainly, riding in the rain.
This is obviously not me, though I do aspire to ride & still look a glam-pot. However, in this crazy humid weather, it is quite impossible. Ah… The joy of riding in the continental climate, where dry is the word. Then perhaps, I can ride with my trench & pretty dresses & boots.
Friday was my 1st encounter with sudden dip in temperature, plus sudden showers. Was actually negotiating a downhill slope after what is known as Slope Initiation in a rider’s term. He was showing me & a friend, his secret hills training ground. While we were making our way out of the area, it was a manageable light drizzle. Suddenly, while I was enjoying the cool air, the light drips became major drops & soon, became a drenching shower.
Coming down a steep slope, it was not exactly an option to stop & put on my rain-gear. And so we braved another 200 metres to shelter. Unknown to myself, I was having an “endorphinical moment”… i actually started squealing with joy, mixed with laughter & exclamations of excitement. Was quite hilarious when I thought about it now.
It was exhilarating, free-ing to a certain extent.
The next evening, or rather wee morning, was coming back from drinks with some other riders who’ve not had enough miles clocked for the week. I wasn’t intending to drink. But heard San Miguel call my name. Had 3/4 of a bottle & felt sleepy. Enjoying jokes & everything, also had a glass of water to clear the booze a little, as did other riders who had 2 bottles. 😛 I declared I would cab, but decided to try riding instead.
Much to my surprise, I was able to maintain my rolling quite well. Constantly checked my responses & alertness, I felt alright. While coming down the slope at the traffic lights, it started to drizzle. Before the lights turned red, the drizzle became heavier. Cleared the lights, went to a safe spot, and donned my rain-gear, as well as rain-proofed my Oxford handlebar bag. While I was doing all that, the rain became utterly dense. 50 metres later, I was semi dripping, while waiting under shelter for the rain to lighten.
That was when I realised I wasn’t afraid. The streets were almost deserted, save a few cars on the road. Pedestrian paths were totally clear for me to ride through quickly. Times like this, the melancholic sets in with self-pity, fear & defeatedness. Interestingly, a resolve rose within me to try to ride as far as I can, without hailing a cab. It was probably the easiest option really.
While riding in dim, lonely paths, I started talking to the Almighty. I could sense protection. Interesting because for a while, I felt abandoned, throw away, left to fend for myself. But this night, I felt absolutely protected. Even to the extent of sensing angels flying beside my rolling Dahon, in the totally quiet Park Connectors. That route would not have been my first choice of wee morning rolling. However, rains made visibility & traction on the roads worse. The lonely paths were a better option. But yes, I did not feel fear, but much peace. And even had a conversation with the Almighty. All while I was speeding at 22-23kmh to get home quickly, with the rains beating down on me.
Momentarily my eyes were stinging badly with rain waters coming into my eyes, and even blurred my vision. There were a few points towards home that I wanted to just hail a cab once I hit the net major road. There were points when the rain seems to be pouring down harder. My rain jacket is excellent. Managed to keep me dry for a good 30 mins in the heavy shower. Then I got drenched, while riding in the cold air… brrrr…. I wondered, of course, if I should just take a cab.
However, I just felt perfect peace to keep going. Some form of tenacity rose within me, knowing full well the angels are watching over me & “clearing” the way for me. Even when encountering heavier downpours, I was tempted to stop & wait at the bus-stops. But the Holy Spirit kept urging me to go on & get home earlier.
The heavy rains got me thinking about the way His love is. “It is un-siamable (unavoidable), because the rains will get onto the various crevices on the ground.” In fact, at the moment, I noticed I was getting wetter as well. Breathable rain-gear will probably not withstand storms like this – but this rain jacket kept me warm while the headwinds was beating me down to keep my cadence at the 5th gear instead of the usual 7th on roads.
I felt the loving eyes of Abba as I thought through some recent situations that hurt like hell. He reminded me that He will continue woo-ing my heart, till I am convinced, fully, once again, that I am loved & cherished greatly. Calling aside, I am just simply, CHERISHED.
A repeated, truncated whisper in my heart to Abba: possible for ministry to not be this painful personally? It was about 70% struggle, 20% discipline & 10% joy over the past 19.5 years in ministry. Does it really have to be so?
Perhaps, it was the pruning season. It was the season that made me carried crosses which were too heavy for me, which were impossible for me to bear with my young heart. Yet, I walked, sometimes crawled, through with them on my back, with His love along the way. At times, I know & recall, I am being carried.
I know I am gifted with the supernatural empathy, to feel the heart of God for the hurting hearts, because He helped me through those crosses.