It has been an eye-opening 2 months to a new area – cycling on a foldable bike. Some interests as well to do bike tours eventually – either in Japan or scenic routes around Europe. But I must say it has been fun being initiated into road riding with a pack (ie. other cyclists). There is safety in numbers, and it was truly comforting to know others are watching out for you as you ride. All you need is to follow.
The zest for cycling was however met with a wall this week. Clocking about 60-100km per week over past 6 has been nothing short of a good rhythm. I would work hard & plan towards a couple of routes / events. Had opportunities to start with morning commute on bike – only about 21km, but it was a great workout & yes, more cos mental barriers were broken.
The wall was haze. Smokey haze due to slash & burn activities in the Sumatran forests, which was also riding on the monsoon winds. Now, our tiny island is covered in smog, for the past week. This weekend, all rides have been cancelled. It is not an unusual occurrence here, this smog thing. it’s an annual event. However, it has never gotten this bad. We hit an all-time high of PSI 401 yesterday noon.
Shot of The Singapore Flyer in the Smog
I am at home blogging, gaming, reflecting. Rhythms have been broken, where I can’t go on as per normal. Made me realise the severity of consequences of decisions – regardless of scale, it does affect at least one other person close to us.
Spiritually, am reminded am kind of in a smog at the moment. Various anguish, sadness, longings have been surfaced constantly. I have fallen to quietness at work as I found myself easily irritated, specifically by happy people. I wonder why is life unfair, why do I have to be the one taking in tough stuff. I didn’t want to speak as I know how sharp & acidic my words can be when I am irritated or offended. Nothing wrong with laughter & jokes. I am just not finding life very funny at the moment.
I’ll get there. Eventually. To find another set of rhythms God wants me to step into. I will rebuild the basics, which will form the notes to another piece of music He wants to sound through my life. I just need to sit still, not fret, not move till He shines the candlelight on the path to take. Meantime, just hang in there, keep being brutally candid with Him. And listen to Him.
Guess it’s wise old advice: drive slow or just stop till the fog lifts. In being the eagles in the Kingdom, there are times when we are instructed to be still, to walk, till He restores our strength, and of course our joy. Meanwhile, just allowing Him to clear up the muck, so that I can move with better rhythms in due time.