Pain Barrier

The right knee has been hit by a swelling, accompanied by increasing pain in the joints, which later develops into sharp pain of the joints when I flex it. There I was, ignoring it, placing some medicated plaster on it, hoping the pain & swelling would subside after a few days. The pain stayed & became a cosier friend to my knee, and even brought crunching sound effects & stiffness after 2 weeks. The crunching sound & increasing pain got my attention. Finally.

I laughed, when I look back in the various twists & turns of the path so far. Pain, was a great indicator of something in my heart / soul / spirit / body that requires my attention. I realised also, over the years, my pain tolerance has increased. I could still manage, even with much pain in my life. Maybe not as effective, but still managed to pull through. After the situation about 11.5 months ago, I noticed I have also learnt a new thing: compartmentalising to manage pain.

I wobbled about over the last 2 weeks. Stairs was my bane. But I managed. Learnt new ways of tackling the countless steps I had to work through to get to my destinations by foot. I learnt ways to walk down & up stairs without feeling the stinging pain in the knee. I can’t, however, bring myself to ignore it, I was way too young, at the start of too many opportunities to succumb to this pain, without a fight.

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I googled, checked various possible ways of managing this pain. There are 2 main categories: quick fix or slow therapy. I decided quick fix was never my way, because I can numb the pain, but after a few moons when the drug wears off, I will be facing the pain again. Preferred to go for a root cure, albeit dead slow with others zooming past me.

I am facing another ache, which has resurfaced after close to a year. It was excruciating pain, but has gradually become an ache. Maybe it’s the date thing, maybe it is the final clearing-up of the situation – having Abba speak into that day when it happened. To cover over the abandonement with mind-blowing love. That it becomes a memory which will just form part of my story with the Almighty.

No matter, I have learnt deeply, to not ignore pain. Pain is a great indication of perhaps something that is not sitting right, the way that things have been designed by the Almighty to be. However, I also learnt: the healing of the pain comes sometimes in stages, over time, but always at the right time, in the right intensity, focusing on a specific aspect of the pain, when my wound is kept vulnerable, in front of the Almighty.

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