Think I have learnt to be content to a certain extent. Learning to live within limitations, making the best of what I am given, albeit not necessarily the maximum compared to many. I know, however, it is exactly what I need in life. In healing, I also realise that though am healed fully, there is also this scar-of-war I have to accept & live with – relationships may not heal to the original state as I would like them to. In some sense, I felt I lost a good friend, in the midst of this loss of the man I previously attempted to love. I do know, however, that it was not my choice made to push him out of my life. He chose, to walk out completely. I accept. I move on. I let go. 100%.
Recently, I am learning to stretch my eyes to see beyond my current life. Though am already feeling blessed my family’s unrelenting support & love, great friends whom I can spar ideas & life dreams with no-holds-barred, a new job within 14 days of decision to move on, an unstoppable zest for life renewed. In fact, the zest for life is massively increased. Some younger friends around me are trying to keep up with my energy level. I am surprised at myself sometimes.
As I go with the flow, in this season of my life, I find no need to hold myself back. Stretching my imagination of what I can do. Taking some calculated risks with prayer, and experience for myself the adrenaline of seeing prayers answered. Going out on the limbo at times. Sometimes it may turn out unexpected, many a times, it turns out more than what I’ve expected.
A trek up a waterfalls recently showed me just that. Went with a bunch of friends with a trained guide to trek up a path, scaled a few vertical walls with only a rope & crevices provided by nature. We were surprised by the stunts we had to go through, to get to the magnificent view of the top of the waterfall. Some of us did some homework, but none has actually gone for the trek. Didn’t really know what to expect. Well.. maybe that was for the better. If we knew what to expect of the falls, we’d probably reason over the few weeks prior the falls & probably opted out faster than one can say “fantabulous”. Paralysis by analysis.
On hindsight, we recognised it was not a trek for beginners as the description of the invitation has indicated. We also agreed that it was actually more than what we would actually go for. However, at the end of the day, we all enjoyed the trek through the forest. We laughed about the desperate hanging on to the rope, which was the only lifeline, literally, to a 14-15 metre drop onto hard rocks below. We gulped when we analysed – it was actually pretty dangerous. But at the end of the day, we thoroughly marveled at this fact: We. Did. It.
Perhaps that’s the reason Abba is teaching me to look for new things, new experiences, new routes through the forests. I am stretching. To explore. To experience for myself. To expand my line of sight. Especially for the unknown. Because at the end of the day, I have the Almighty watching over me. I can trek where no one has trekked. That I will live to tell, of the expanded line of sight, of the widened perspective of life, of the deepening of my heart.