Unfriended

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Silly perhaps, but maybe a way that affords me space from his news. Just “unfriended” him on fb.

Was just told by a mate that he reckons I still have feelings for him & therefore prefers not even be friends. When I was 1st told, it truly reeled me backwards. Again..  over the next few nights, I had pretty disturbed sleep. Such that I was uber lack of energy for my training on 1st day.

Glad I managed to catch up with another leader & saw things from another perspective. I was feeling the whole package of “You-r-not-cut-for-marriage” condemnation through that confusion. Cos the way he had put it across was as if he walked away BECAUSE I was too emotional.

For the records, there was an abyss of emotions because of what u did, Jerk! I have managed things as much as I could, until you made yourself sound safe to entrust my heart to. If you choose to keep suspecting, then so be it. Let’s not even be friends.

I know this for a fact. It’s a miracle I survived this ordeal even. Nearly lost my job, nearly lost my faith, nearly had my heart die on me. 5 years of emotions can’t dissipate within 6 months. Am amazed that I am already 90% letting go. The way I have engaged my heart- technically wd’ve taken 2-3 years.

By God’s grace, you do not have to bear the guilt of me committing suicide. By God’s grace, I am not slamming you in public. By God’s grace, I am recovering well.

If you choose to continue your perspective & not to even reconcile as friends, I am not about to make any effort either. I’ll move on completely, and we’ve lost each other. Period.

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