As I progress in the journey these past 5 months, parts of him has gradually been dropped over a few occasions. I noticed, especially this morning when asked if him and me are currently in marriage-preparation (yes.. there are people who are not in the know still), I just flatly said, “No, we broke up […]
It all started with 1 post from a friend who is known for lame jokes… and we rolled on to nearly completing all 7 days in a week, with lame jokes tagged to each day, all within 1 hour… rofl… 10.15pm: (Friend A) Which day is most hated by fish? Fry-day. #lamejoke 10.20pm: (Friend B) Which […]
“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.” – Henry David Thoreau Interesting that this activity that caught my eye close to 2 years ago finally got me going just in the past 2 weeks. It was just a decision to take on the Nike attitude: Just do it. Started with searching for […]
Another layer being peeled by Abba these 2 weeks. Forgiveness and moving on, and also thoroughly mourning the death of dreams, plans and “should’ve beens”, which died with the death of my heart.
Well… slowly but surely, my heart is dying each day, working hard to let go of the glimmer of hope for his turning around. I’ll get to the place where I can accept what I cannot change (his heart), and forgive the premature death of beautiful “should’ve beens” of a life together. I will continue to mourn the death of possible births, possible family gatherings, possible opportunities to directly influence the little ones currently in the family towards You. Death of many dreams of walking through tough stuff together, which I seemed to have heard You will lead us through.
Sometimes, I wonder why You still want to keep me here on earth, and not just take me home. I know, I breathe each day with a certain purpose I do not yet know fully. But yeah, it is a long way home, to the place where no more tears will be shed cos of pain or hurt. But only tears of joy.
The way home takes me past stations which holds memories of him. In fact, I have to pass these stations because we live at extreme ends of the city and we’ve always met in the middle. On days when I needed to take the public transport to & fro work, I have graduated from teary […]
Found myself in the middle of a barrage of arrows once more. Perhaps cos have made a conscious effort to make good my commitments in the Kingdom & also to Divine Dreams placed in my heart by Abba. I read about some prose written, some skills-honing training forged in the fires of ministry. Well.. some […]
This song came up while I was licking my wounds and literally gnarling at every thought of the J-jerk. Yeap.. I even probably need to stop calling him that. For the sake of my own sanity and heart’s freedom from bitterness.
By and by, Abba. I let go of my need for vindication, and leave whatever has been wrong to Your hands. Teach me… to first forgive, then stop harping on the issue, then agape increasingly as a sister.
In a bid to find my firm footing again, have started to explore stuff which my passions have been nearly drowned by that jerk. His English name from days of his youth starts with J too. So he would be known now as “J the Jerk” to yours truly. Honestly, I think “jerk” is already […]
By: The Piano Guys
Emotive… cuts into the heart…