Checkmate

Am faced with the question today: will I forgive? Asked the same question 3 times. Twice, separately, by 2 longtime friends, who’ve known me for close to 2 decades. And the final straw that broke it was when the Almighty asks me the same question, when I was basking in His presence.

How does one reason with the omniscient One? Who, incidentally, is also the Source of all wisdom, power & all things good. It was a simple question of: if I have been forgiven though I don’t deserve it, what right do I have to withhold forgiveness from someone else?

Anyone out there knows how to worm your way around this, feel free to comment.

Granted. An offence has been committed. Hurt has been caused. But simply put, I can’t, simply does not jive in my understanding of the Almighty, continue to stand in the presence of love, and receive extravagant love, without being nudged in the heart, to let go of the offence.

How about my dignity? Makes life so easy for him, doesn’t it?! In fact, last I heard from the Good Book, my dear Saviour went through humiliating lashing and slow & excruciating death, just to ensure I am forgiven.

I have noticed, for my heart to resolve to not forgive, it will also take me away from my ultimate Love too. Simply because the heart will harden & yeap, I will become the cynical old hag I have promised myself I will not become.

In the presence of the forgiving Abba, I can’t help but choose the way of letting go of the offence. Because the presence of the Almighty brings a clear choice: the way of freedom from certain death of my heart through bitterness – forgive & let go to God.

And so… much as I am unwilling, I have prayed for the spiritual warrior in him to be awoken from his slumber. It is probably the first sign of forgiveness in the process of being released, eventually fully. Because I know that is what he desperately needs: to find U in the midst of his massive confusion & tasteless existence of life @ the midlife zone.

The Almighty is asking me, not discounting that he has hurt me & has done me wrong, will I release him from the offence? Will I dispense forgiveness & the same grace, extended to me daily? The Divine Voice is not commanding, nor challenging me. Just simply, gently, firmly asking.

I am out of reasons, to not forgive.

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