My trusty walking shoes, which has walked me throughout my stint in the neighbouring city, many walks with him, nature walks with friends, walks through the various cities the Almighty has brought me.
It has given way earlier this year. It’s just that I was hoping to bring it for repairs, to restore it because it is so comfy to walk in. I have gotten used to slipping my feet into them & walking comfortably on all sorts of terrains.
Yesterday, I hadn’t noticed that the sole was coming off, till we were nearing the end of the journey around the city. It was a nice morning walk. Gave me some inspiration to walk more regularly in these parts.
Well… so the sole came off but still managed to keep me going till I got to a shop where I bought a pair of slippers for $5. Without much thinking, I just chucked the shoes away – along with the other good one. My friends commented that maybe it could be repaired. But I reasoned the repair might cost more than the slippers. Moreover, the pair of shoes have served me over 5 years now. Ripe time to retire them to rest.
As I mulled over my semi-hoarder inclinations, I do actually have a tendency to keep things, hoping to restore them at a later stage, hopefully to at least 70% of it’s former glory. I Am a realistic repairer.
I thought about why I had kept to the relationship so long. I reckon one of these days when Am brave enough, I will read through my 5-years worth of journals, which I have appropriately named “Extended Conversation”. And there will probably be evidence that we’ve started to be dysfunctional as a couple early on in the journey. It’s just that I was hanging on to the original version of him, which I’ve fallen in love with, and held on that as an illusion. He has changed along the way, and I hadn’t noticed? I did notice in fact. I just decided to live in my delusion that he can be “repaired”.
Actually, according to the Almighty, he can be restored to an even better version. But issue is, he has given up on himself. And so.. there’s nothing the Almighty will do, without Man’s choice of His ways.
And so I Am paying dearly, very dearly, for my faith? Or rather, I am paying for his lack of faith. There.. I said it. I blame him for everything that has gone wrong so far, in my life. Hahaha… well, I know I will take personal responsibility for my well-being moving forward.
As per the pair of shoes, when 1 is already not functioning properly, the pair becomes non-functional. Or at best dysfunctional: functioning at bare minimal, with possibly of affecting overall function the pair was originally intended for.
* A solo chopstick can at best function as a skewer, not pick up food regularly.
* A side of the scissors can’t snip.
* A wheel can’t move a bicycle except an acrobat in an act.
The choice therefore, is clear for the well-being of the larger universe: to chuck the pair. Or to combine the working half to another fully-functioning half, that they may work as a whole.
The resistance to your dreams: God uses to create deep strength in you so that you can handle the dreams coming true. – Danny Silk