Quest of the Whole-hearted: Vulnerability

… Updates on the go… Completing post as I plow through the concept…

On this roll watching various talks on TedTV ( and came across this which has been my question – am I being overly-vulnerable? Is it wrong to be vulnerable? How far? What boundaries to protect myself from hurt?

In my search, I realise this:

  • In being vulnerable, I am not immune to hurt. In fact, the more vulnerable I am to a person, the more I am susceptible to hurt.
  • Vulnerability is loving whole-heartedly without a guarantee to be loved back as intensely.
  • Vulnerability is the core of the most intimate relationships – where someone “sees us”, just the way we are, no sugar-coating, just the full BS.
  • Vulnerability is safe with people who’ll accept us just the way we are, and see beyond our BS, because they have also seen & appreciate greatly the great stuff about us.

Interestingly, these are exact points which Brene Brown speaks about in her talk @ Ted. I realise this as I speak to the Almighty throughout these months of going through the dark places:

The protection that I get in loving vulnerably is the power to bounce back, with a whole heart, after each hurt.

The protection, as I see it, doesn’t necessarily mean that I’ll be covered or immuned to hurt. It’s just the way the heart works – the more engaged the heart, the more hurt potentially when expectations are not met. And so, many a times, human beings choose to numb ourselves, or not engage so much of our hearts – just so that we don’t get hurt. Personally, I think it’s a safe way to get through life, but missing out on some stuff which can propel our way of life to a greater extent.

The only way, I realise as well, is to be vulnerable to the perfect being – in order not to get hurt. To have the most intimate relationship with this person, and totally place my life into the hands of this person. Recklessly abandoning my life to Him. This is the source of my bouncing back, of having a new heart – stronger, wiser, more vulnerable – each time I get hurt.


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