Defn: putting to rest, resting place.
It has been a week requiring quite a fair bit of persevering. I was hit with an unknown hit of a virus – completely caught off guard & had chills, followed by violent coughing.
Due to work project responsibilities, had to push through mid-week, coughing & taking twice the time to complete complex tasks, cos brains has slowed down its gears. Nonetheless, glad the week has ended.
At the end of my work meeting yesterday, didn’t realise it but have completely lost my voice. Mainly due to needing to speak a lot, and also late nights. Worked till wee morning night before event…
My body finally gave way – after a good time witnessing the power of the Almighty in a rally, my body was told by my brain – Yep, you may relax & start purging the virus now.
Rest, I realise is not just regaining energy, but it also entails fighting viruses, albeit not entirely the best. I noticed that most of my 1st 2 days of holidays is usually spent sleeping in & taking it real easy. Cos during these 2 days, am repaying my sleep debt, and also recuperating from seemingly dormant ailments that pops up.
Someone shared with me last night while she prayed, just receive. No need to pray hard in the Heavenly language , JUST RECEIVE.
Interestingly, as I thought about it, I realise it’s true. Sometimes in petitioning requests, I come in the posture of doubt. Therefore I wanted to pray in the Heavenly language because I needed to focus. Granted it’s good to pray that way cos it strengthens my heart.
Another reason is because I seemed to find it difficult to receive ministering from people whom I’ve ministered to before. Just feels weird. Or actually , I think it’s pride basically.
Being able to receive seems to be another journey I’ll be embarking on. It stems from the root of my relationship from the Almighty, that whatever He wants to bless me with, I need to work hard to prove myself 1st. I am increasingly starting to understand – many a times, He just want to bless, because it is His
nature to do so. That is pure grace. That I am not required to prove myself or go through tough stuff all the time, so that He will bless. He wants to bless, period. I just need to receive. I just need to obey, because I love the Almighty.
My body is resting – can’t do much with the stack of drowsy meds. Feels like I ‘m high on drugs, actually I am literally. Lol… Feeling rather weak, and all I want to do is to sleep & “receive” whatever the medications will do to make me well again. My soul is needing that kind of letting go & letting God I think. Where I just come to that place, and rest, and receive.
I am learning, to another level, what it means to rest, to release my sense of responsibility, to relinquish my definition of how my prayers should turn out. I’ll pray, then release my grip, and katapausis.