That seems to sum up me, and my fellow blogging-journeymen. These few weeks of walking towards the end of the tunnel, I stumble across, once again, my original heart texture: that of a child with eyes for the good things in life.
Watch me eat good food – expensive doesn’t equate delicious to me. Sometimes this discovery of a dilapidated soup dumplings shack in the middle of an unknown Shanghai neighbourhood gives me thrills. And reminds me of the Almighty’s desire to surprise & delight my heart. ‘Cos He knows my whims & fancies to the tee.
This level of knowing, I realise is not something that a homo sapean can live up to. I wonder if I kinda started to expect that of he-who-walked-away, unconciously. Last I checked, I have an uber grounded expectation of him. In fact, some of my mates were bewildered that I expect so little of him.
Anyways… a check on my heart today. I can safely say I am out of the woods per se. Just needing to steer clear for now of having shares environments. Till we have the chat, or we both miraculously feel super at
ease with each other, whichever occurs 1st. Lol…
Back to the dreamer mode. There is something about dreaming for the future that drives my life. Perhaps it’s the 18 years of conditioning that living a purposeless life sucks. To a certain extent it’s true. I think part of why my life fell apart when he walked was cos supporting & loving him became my purpose. I had studied the man & things around him quite extensively. Well… obviously I wasn’t quick enough to catch up on his past though.. before it caught up with him.
Stepping into new territories enables me to dream. Meeting new people enables me to dream. I am one of those hearts who still believes in the sanctity of life & that every child deserves a fair go in life, no matter what his culture says about him.
My tears flow freely, when I step into the realm where the Almighty paints His picture for a child. I enjoy listening to Him confide His thoughts to me. Thoughts of embracing every child He created, no matter where they are, in His strong & reassuring arms, saying, “Hush now, little one… I’m here. Cuddle close. Let Me love you. You are treasure to Me, no matter what they say or do. ”
Staring into the sky & watch the clouds pass by has been an agreement I have with the Divine Abba for a long time now. It is my way of being reminded that He is as consistent as the skies He has created. And also that He covers me & watches over me with His love. The unique blend of colours in different parts of the world, at different times of the day, has never failed to amaze me of His thoughts of me – always there, always intricate. Inspires me, and reminds me of many moments when He whispers His everlasting love to the depth of my heart.