Two minds about closing this blog. Just occurred to me today that I’ve moved on from all the memories, pain, struggles, & of course the moments I’ve collected with every individual whom I crossed paths with. Some stayed around for years till now, some faded into a distant memory, some are perhaps lingering around to check in sometimes. Whatever it is, I realised that it has always been how I’ve lived – to collect moments, try everything (where possible) once at least. Then decide if that thing or person will stay around.
We make our decisions, walk certain paths which brings us to where we are today. Sometimes, I guess not everyone agrees with how we live, but life is ours to live however we deem fit. I have decided to take a gamble, to live life the way my heart is inspired by life. There are times when some things, and in some cases, some people will be let go. Not necessarily anyone’s fault or weakness, but just that there is no jive any longer to be intimately connected. Some people bring out the best versions of us, some people, unfortunately, seems to bring out the worst in us. I will connect widely enough, but only open up intimately to a select few. The select few who are not out to change my way of life, to persuade me to subscribe to theirs, who will not frown or gasp at my choices.
I will wander around, to look to connect with people along the way. Where there is affinity, we’ll hang out longer. Where there is a time / chemistry limit to our affinity, we’ll graciously chase our own journeys. I realise I am not afraid of being alone any longer. Perhaps, I have come to terms & working towards being on my own. Or perhaps, there are just more than a few persons who will come into my life at different seasons & connect deeply with me. Of course, I would love to love someone deeply for the rest of my days, without the legality of marriage. We’ll see… I’ll accept my lot in life & have lotsa fun in the midst of it.
I have uncontradicted much of the contradictions, and found that some contradictions cannot be uncontradicted in this lifetime, and best to be left on its own. I have moved on, moved past, and moving away to a new way of life. On my own terms.
Friends who have been following this blog, adieu.